'God's gonna pummel the coasts'

Professional hate-monger Pat Robertson has warned his television audience that furious storms are going to devastate America's coasts this year.

"If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms," Robertson announced on Wednesday's broadcast of the 700 Club. "There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest."

If past truly is prologue, Robertson is likely praying for such a horrifying disaster. Last summer, as Hurricane Katrina laid waste to New Orleans, Robertson's "Operation Rescue" was second on the once-secular American government's list of charities for Americans to send money to. Only the Red Cross was listed before Robertson.

Operation Rescue's board is loaded with Robertson's immediate family, with Marion Gordon Robertson -- Robertson's real name -- listed as chairman. Pat's wife DeDe is vice president and son Gordon Robertson is also on the board. The whole family reaped the benefits of others' misery, as they have their whole lives.

Hours after SPLOID broke the story of this disgusting arrangement last year -- thanks to a tip from privacy activist Bill Scannell -- FEMA moved Robertson's organization down the list.

Now that we know the storms are coming, it will be interesting to see what it is that Ellen Degeneres does to cause them. Robertson has blamed America's last two great tragedies on the beloved talk show lesbian.

"This is the second time in a row that God has invoked a disaster shortly before lesbian Ellen Degeneres hosted the Emmy Awards," Robertson told his one million mouthing-breathing sheep. "America is waiting for her to apologize for the death and destruction that her sexual deviance has brought onto this great nation."

Maybe Roberston will be moved to call for her assassination. He likes to do that kind of thing.

-and if the whole coast doesn't get destroyed by storms, he will just have everyone assassinated.

No comments:

Barrett's Honor College

I was notified yesterday that i have been accepted into Barrett's Honor College at Arizona State University. So we will be picking up an...