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Showing posts from 2005

Micro machines has gone to far!!!!

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Introducing the new micro machine hair removal system, by Hasbro. Rumor has it Tonka and matchbox will launch similar lines in the very near future. I'm looking forward to the matchbox nose hair submarine, and Tonka's ass hair, logging crew, which is rumored to come with a skidder, and a fleet of logging trucks. Also able to tackle back hair, once the ass deforestation is complete.

Caught Red handed

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Yeah like that fat cow actually has that kind of a body, if she did, I could understand him getting into trouble over her.

The levels you sink to when your desperate

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The new Drug Craze, CrystalXmas

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Even if you haven't decorated your house for Christmas yet, you still have time to grow a "Magic Christmas Tree" or a "Magic Snowman"! The Magic Christmas Tree consists of a basic tree and a liquid to be added to its base in order to grow green crystal leaves in 12 hours. It also includes red garlands and a star for the top of the tree. The Magic Snowman is basically the same and its white crystals grow in approximately 24 hours. Before you ask me, these are not made in Japan and have been around for a while. But they are top selling items in Rakuten this holiday season due to their affordable price and ideal size as a gift.


Oh my inflatable women, I'm in love!!!

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Holy shit batman, this is a new life size doll, that is threatening the inflatable woman industry. Now the question, do I start upgrading, or stay with the old reliable? These lovely new dolls are very expensive, but are made to suite, you pick out everything. Oh life, why must you make me make such hard choices!!!!!

Ice Cream Anyone?

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I know it's not in English, It's in Japanese, but this is the newest flavor in Japan, Wasabi Ice Cream!! Yes, Wasabi, Japanese Horse radish, That super spicy paste you have on your sushi, now can be enjoyed with your ice cream, because I mean what could be tastier then a big spoonfull of wasabi flavored ice cream. There three other new flavors,,,,,,cucumber, soy sauce, and cactus. Well, I guess Ben & Jerries have there work cut out for them, if they hope to enter the Japenese market.

I GOT BLUE BALLS!!!!!!!!!!

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HenkaQ makes these golf balls that change colors when exposed to sunlight. Their base color is white but thanks to the ultraviolet rays they can turn into light blue, blue, yellow or purple. The HenkaQ site explains us that the balls' surface is treated with a photochromic compound similar to the one used in sunglasses that become darker in order to protect the eyes from UV rays. And their newest product is a fluorescent golf ball, for those nights in which you cannot sleep and want to practice golf instead (?).

Being Sick Blows!!!!!!!!

Ok, ok, I admit it, I'm sick, my son is sick, everyone around me is sick!!! This is the first time my son has been really sick, and it made me think back to when I was his age, and had my first real illness. So I thought I would share this little trip down memory lane with everyone. My grandmother, who moved to the states when she was 18 from Germany, would always demand that she take care of me when I got sick. Now her, being stuck in her german mind set, and never trully understanding the concept of a drinking age, considered tea, laced with a shot of booze, and a spoonfull of honey, with just a few drops of lemon juice, the cure all for all illnesses. Now after a intense questioning of my ailments, she would begin the brewing of the tea, hot water, ad tea bag, wait till water is slightly brownish, it's,,,,,,ready, ok, now a coupls drops of lemon, fine fine, were wasting space, ad very healthy spoon full of honey, more, more, ad just a bit more, got to keep those cute little…

Safe Phone Sex

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Ok, were just taking this way to fucking far, a god damn rubber for your cell phone!!!!! Come on, live dangerously, take a chance, what in the fuck are you going to catch, it's your fucking cell phone, it's not like someone is shoving it up there asses when your not around. Well, I don't know, I mean I guess if you put it on vibrate, that might kinda come in handy,,,,could I please get a pack of the pretty pink ones,,,,,thanks

Interesting offer from Telephone Organization of Thailand

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I got my phone bill today from TOT, the Telephone Organization of Thailand. There was an insert in the envelope advertising some of their new services. I normally just toss these things. But upon closer examination they have a new offer that looks very interesting. Take a close look at the photo above and tell me if this is something you would not expect from a boring old telephone company.

Now thats service!!!!!

sex survey

The Durex 2005 Global Sex Survey has been published, Curzon at Coming Anarchy examines the results.:
* Greeks do it the most, followed by Croatia, Serbia, and Bulgaria. * Malaysians like to do it in the toilet and their parent’s bedroom * Thais like to use porn. * Indians are late to start and faithful at it. * South Africans risk their lives doing it (which may explain a lot) as do women from New Zealand. * The Chinese are least happy (22%!) with it. * The Japanese do it the least, again (just 45 times a year); Singaporeans rank second to last (at 73 times a year). * Canadian women like it more than Canadian men. * Australians are average. Also note,Taiwanese are the most likely (47%) to use vibrators as a sex aid;

beijing steps up war on terror

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With the US State Department issuing terror alert warnings for Guangzhou and other areas, it's refreshing to see that the capital has started taking precautions.:


This sign I noticed in the Sanlitun diplomatic compound in Beijing: You are not allowed to blow up your car! Not sure if it is a temporary sign (Mr. Bush will visit Beijing this week) or whether it has been here longer already. Or does it mean something else?

Why can't we simplify our terror alerts, fuck what orange or red means, just give use a sign saying what we can and can not blow up.

I'm sorry, but we will need to reschedule all car bombings. I am sorry for the inconvience caused by this, but we do have a few openings for next week.

Shag your toilet!!!!

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Following the revelation that Malaysian's prefer to have sex in washrooms, TV Smith produces the definitive guide.:In the recent 2005 Durex Global Sex Survey, Malaysians overwhelmingly picked the toilet as the preferred place for shagging outside a bedroom. In view of this prevalent practice, Dua Sen presents the definitive guide to toilet bonking...
Where: Recommended: • Unisex toilets: Beach Club, Passion, Loft, Thai Club, Liquid KL • Spacious toilets: Imbi Food Court, KL, Press Club of KL. • Lonely toilets: Shell Station, Batu 13 Ulu Langat. • Artistic toilets: Pudu Complex (excellent erotic graffiti on doors). Not recommended: • Rajooz Curry House PJ - Stack of dirty dishes inside. • The Mall KL - The doors are about 3 or 4 feet high. • Boutique Toilet KLCC - Will people who won't pay for a room pay RM 4 for a toilet? • LRT Stations - Gadget mounted to prevent squatting over bowl hinders smooth sex. • Zouk KL - Bouncers get upset. • Toilets for the handicapped - Peter Tan g…

Destroy all HUMANS!!!!!!

Ok, I am not a big game player anymore, and even in my hay day I wasn't that into games. But, I just gotta do my part in promoting this game!!! Its the fucking funniest game ever!!! There are Anal probes and abductions, it's the greatest fucking game ever!!!!!! If you have a x-box get this game!!!!!

Maybe we should take a hint?

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What would we do without sociology experts?

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"Speaking of hurricanes, America's sociologists are perplexed: despite damage that surpassed New Orleans, why was there no looting in Mississippi? Magnolia Stater and Katrina survivor JSS3 sends some photo data that may help solve this mystery."


MARK, YOU HAVE TO CHECK THIS OUT!!!!!!

http://www.chumfm.com/MorningShow/bits/march24.swf


The Attck of the killer Grandma's!!!!!

Now if we can just find a 4000 year old jar of Ragu

Who invented the noodle is a hotly contested topic - with the Chinese, Italians and Arabs all staking a claim. But the discovery of a pot of thin yellow noodles preserved for 4000 years in Yellow river silt may have tipped the bowl in China's favour. It suggests that people were eating noodles at least 1000 years earlier than previously thought, and many centuries before such dishes were documented in Europe. "These are undoubtedly the oldest noodles ever found," says Houyuan Lu at China's Institute of Geology and Geophysics in Beijing. His team found the noodles buried 3 metres deep in flood-plain sediment at Lajia in north-eastern China after lifting out an upturned bowl. The "spaghetti-like" noodles, up to 50 centimetres long, sat atop a mound of silt which had sealed them in the bowl following a major earthquake and flood.

Word Verification

I'm sorry everyone(mark) who actually reads and responds to my blog, but I have turned the word verification on, so now every time you post, you will have to type something in. I don't know if that will help stop the mother fuckers who spam blogs, but I'm giving it a shot.

Spam Kills!!!

You dickless mother fuckers!!! Who in the fuck do you think you are spamming blogs??!! Fuck you and all those around you, you fucking pieces of shit!!! Don't you cause enough bullshit with your fucking pop-ups and e-mails, now you have to fuck with someone's blog? God, I fucking hope something really bad happens to you!!! I'm serously considering finding religion, just so when I pray for evil to fall upon you, it has a better chance of coming to fruition!!!! If I ever catch one of you mother fuckers, I am going to cut off you nuts, and tea bag you with your severed bloody sack!!!!! DIE!!!!! YOU PIECES OF SHIT!!!!

Love,

The International Institute of Peace and Love

So be good, for goodness sake

"Having engaged in bodily misconduct,verbal misconduct,misconduct of mind,or whatever else is flawed,not having done what is skillful, having done much that is not, at the break-up of the body,the undiscerning one reappears inhell."--Buddha, Itivuttaka

A Letter to All Who Voted for George W. Bush from Michael Moore

Sunday, September 11th, 2005A Letter to All Who Voted for George W. Bush from Michael Moore
To All My Fellow Americans Who Voted for George W. Bush:
On this, the fourth anniversary of 9/11, I'm just curious, how does it feel?
How does it feel to know that the man you elected to lead us after we were attacked went ahead and put a guy in charge of FEMA whose main qualification was that he ran horse shows?
That's right. Horse shows.
I really want to know -- and I ask you this in all sincerity and with all due respect -- how do you feel about the utter contempt Mr. Bush has shown for your safety? C'mon, give me just a moment of honesty. Don't start ranting on about how this disaster in New Orleans was the fault of one of the poorest cities in America. Put aside your hatred of Democrats and liberals and anyone with the last name of Clinton. Just look me in the eye and tell me our President did the right thing after 9/11 by naming a horse show runner as the top man to protect us …

Must have a hard time with datting

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I don't know about you, but I don't think I could kiss her good night, no matter how hot she is.

Bland

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Set your ambitions low, and you will never be disappointed

Hey Mark, don't you have some tighty whities like this?

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Well,,,,if you insist, ok.

Is there a secret handshake?

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The fastest growing fraternal organization in the bay area!!!

Consummate happiness

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Would you like some friendly love? Have you consummated today?

Didn't we get arrested for this once?

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Words of wisdom if ever I have heard any.

I'm speachless!!!

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A picture is trully worth a 1000 words, and right now I can't think of one word for the picture.

Yeti's ass tattoo!!!

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Every day is your lucky day with some hot monkey love!!!

Fucking Monkeys!!!

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I have a strange feeling someone's going to have a very sore ass in the morning!!

Anyone else having junior high flashbacks?

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To trully love another, you must love thy self first!!

I was always told not to brag!!

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I guess 7 inches over there is worth bragging about!!!

Yeti is seeking a few good men!!!

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Yeti's looking for love

Long Overdue!!!

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Where and the fuck were these guys when Yeti was running around??!!

Breast Cream??

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I would happily cream on her breasts, wouldn't you?

Why didn't I find this before investing in Ducth Girl??

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My god, I think I am in love!!! Dutch girl is going in the fucking garbage!!! Perfect Mounting? Can a guy ask for anything more??!!

Thats my kind of Toy!!!!

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Read this, think about it, then kiss your brain good by as it goes into melt down!!!!

Now thats a T-Shirt!!!!

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Is this a how too, or a invatation??

REALLY?????

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Who in the fuck needs a T-shirt to point out the obvious?

I'm so thirsty!!!!

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Ok, if you don't get the joke, read her fucking shirt!!!!!!!!

Trully a mixed message

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Does this shirt come with a instruction manual?

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I just want to know how, there so slimy and small, how??? I guess I need to start keeping bigger fish

A new fish food?

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the Speakers is a Japanese rock group, I have no fucking idea what there doing to the guppies, but it sounds like animal cruelty Hey mark is this how you get your killies in the mood???

Have you hugged your lawn today?

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Our art doesn't age too well....

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Our art doesn't age too well.... Kind of makes you wonder what there other ideas for a company name were
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This is the Kano Sisters. I just thought everyone should meet them, there from Japan, one is a former miss Japan, there models, and basically Japan's version of the Hilton sisters. Anyone else want to make a trade with Japan, I know I would rather look at these two, then the Hiltons any day!!!!!

This one is for you mark!!!!

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Gas

National average for 1 Gallon of Regular, $2.60
Average cost for a company to extract, process, and deliver 1 gallon of gas, $0.10
Average 1 year ago for the same thing,,,, $0.10
Average profit,,$2.50
Does anyone else feel like there getting fucked?

I'm Back!!!!!

OK, I just got my shiny new dell computer. OH my, it is so nice, I'm in heaven.

My son hard at work

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Hard at work

Who would you be?

A very dear pen-pal recently asking me a very difficult question. I have thought about it non-stop for quite some time now. The question at first appears to be very easy and simple. "If you could be anyone in the world, at anytime in history, who would you be, and why?" What a wonderful question, and yet it has plagued me for weeks now. At first I thought of the great minds, the inventors, the artists, the composers. Then I thought about hero's, people who showed bravery and courage under odds that would make most of us shrink away in fear and self preservation. But no matter who I considered, I would slowly start to pick them apart. They all had flaws. So, now I ask myself, is there anyone in the world that we can look up too, and aspire to be like? We are human, and by nature are not, can not, will never be, perfect. We all have flaws, and make mistakes. I like to think, that if given the choice, I would pick to be someone who saves man kind from a horrable disease, or…

Religion

Oh I know this is such a taboo subject, and all of you who know me, know it's a long over due rant. So lets get started with the bitching. Why do we, I mean the vast majority of people in the world, feel it is necassary to cling to some form of religion to make us feel safe and secure. Why do we need this crutch to go on with our feeble exsistance? Why can't we just say "shit happens" and call it good. But no we must explain everything, and have some answer to cling to, even if all science, and well lets face it, common sense, can shoot a billion holes into these "religous experts" explanaitions for why shit happens. So were should we start today. Lets see, how about my least favorite religion, the ones who deserve the most bashing in my enlightened opinion, the mother fucking, cock sucking, hipocritical, jack asses, the cock whore, son of a bitch christains. Yes, you stupid mother fuckers who cling to your holly book, but only when it suits your small mind…

Bush is the Devil!!!!

Ok, Clinton admits to smoking a little wacky weed and we fucking crusifie him like he's the anti-christ. Just rake him over the coals and bash the living hell out of the horny old bastard. Yet, this muther fucker bush who admits to being a fucking drunk, and has not only smoked his share of waky weed, but also done fucking coke, gets elected and no one fucking says a thing!!!! What the hell is up with that? Last time I checked my controlled substance decoder ring, coke was a hell of a lot higher up then a little fucking dope. What in the hell is wrong with this country?? Then he gets us in this fucking war, yet he didn't have the balls to go to Vietnam? Went AWOL, and we want him to be our leader??? Am I taking crazy pills here???? What are you thinking america?? Fucking crack babies!!!! (new you would like that one, mark)The guy doesn't want to be the president, he wants to be the last president. He wants to be the fuck head in the hockey mask in Road warrior, "GIVE …

Help me, PLEASE!!!!

OK, I am poor, and I really want a Ipod. If I can get 5 people to sign up, do the stupid little servay(say no on everything) and complete one offer at the end, some are free, or only a dollar, I get a free Ipod. Any one willing to help? I will love you for ever and build a shrine in your honor if I actually get a Ipod out of this.

College

I work for a rather large company, and before that I worked for a huge company. Both companies had one thing in common, and I see this trend really growing in american business. They hire anyone with a college degree to run the company and work in the divisional level or above. Now, when that is the only qualification you seek for a person that is going to be making serious choices for the direction of your company, I get very worried about the futue of America. I work for a company that is very involved in technology, wouldn't you want someone who actually has some hands on experience making the serious choices. Yet, every company I see, has people who have never even been in the field, never gotten there hands durty what so ever. I recently took a class for work, the book we used was written by some stooge from the corporate office. She came to take notes on how we liked the book, so they could make revisions before it was used to train new hires. As we went through we found lot…

Survivor

Oh, yes, once again it is time for another brain numbing season of reality shows. I must admit that I have watched survivor in the past, but lets face facts, am I the only human on the planet that is sick of reality shows??!! You can actually hear your brain cells committing suicide while watching some of these things. How many fucking islands can we strand castaways on, and how many sick discusting things can we make them eat, till we just say enough is enough. Lets make survivor a real interesting program. Lets drop them off in the Yukatan in winter, and lets see how long the bikini clad contestants last. How about smearing them in seal blood, and then having them run across a polar bears teritory, and see who makes it to the finish line. That is real survivor. Or how about next time there in a jungle, you can have everyone wade out into the water and urinate, and see who gets to keep there winkies at the end of the show. And who has to have some parasites removed from theres. Inste…

Life is complete

Well, I can honestly say I have seen everything now. I work with a guy that i constantly changing his facial hair. Like every few days he has changed his side burns, goatee, or something, and always makes a big deal out of it. My life is now complete, I have finally found a guy that can't even get playing with himself right!!

Cool Web Site

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Amano

Plant Tanks

I love planted tanks, specially those done in the style of the great Amano. I posted a few pics of some of his work. Also they do not due him justice. I am preparing to do a tank in his style, now that I have been able to find a cube tank, and the proper lighting. I will post pictures of my tank, as soon as I start it. Hopefully I can do him justice, eventually. http://www.vectrapoint.com/ Amano/natural aquarium's web page.

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Amano
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Amano