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Showing posts from June, 2006

Zombie soldier escapes!

A mysterious empty military casket was found in the Arizona desert near Tucson on Saturday, fueling local fears that a zombie soldier may have escaped.

Two men found the silver coffin in a pile of trash near Interstate 10; the men were reportedly "playing paintball" in the desert.

"When deputies arrived, they opened the casket expecting to find a body but did not," KVOA TV reported. "Instead they found hair and fluid."

Pima County Sheriff's deputies identified the empty casket as belonging to the U.S. military, which they found "particularly suspicious."

"Put out a nationwide broadcast to see if anyone anywhere in the country is missing a military style casket and the body it contained," Lt. Bob Kimmins demanded.

The odd tale took an even stranger twist on Monday, when the same TV news program claimed the casket had been sent to a garbage dump by a mortuary -- because the missing soldier's family dug up his coffin, removed the corps…

Spy in the sky!

The Pentagon's creepy National Reconnaissance Office is launching another Orwellian billion-dollar spy machine tonight, but at least it will provide a colorful light show over much of the western United States.

The "classified payload" will be launched on a Delta IV rocket from Vandenberg Air Force Base between 7 p.m. and 9 p.m.

The high-security base is on California's central coast, north of Santa Barbara.

First scheduled in 2004, the mission has since been delayed eight times, leaving a gaping hole in Washington's efforts to record the activities and thoughts of every single American.

It's the inaugural West Coast launch of the huge Delta IV cargo rocket.

Vandenberg wasted some $4 billion on a West Coast space-shuttle launch site that was never used, and has since converted the boondoggle into a Delta platform.

"The rocket will fly in a configuration with two strap-on solid rocket boosters," reported SpaceFlightNow.com.

Evening launches from Vandenberg …

Librarians beat Feds!

As the First Lady - herself a former librarian - cheers on the rebuilding of New Orleans' libraries, her husband's thugs continue to terrorize, threaten and bully the nation's patriotic book-lenders. Yesterday, they finally backed off a bit.

The Federal Bureau of Investigations finally gave up their attempt to inspect the records of a group of Connecticut libraries, but not before leveling a veiled threat against those who dare to defy them.

"In this case, because the threat ultimately was without merit, that delay came at no cost other than slowing the pace of the investigation," John Miller, the FBI's assistant director, said.

Naturally, as part of the administration's regular M.O., Miller also accused librarians of endangering Americans.

"In another case, where the threat may be real, the delays incurred in this investigation could have increased the danger of terrorists succeeding."

"We concluded that based on the passage of time as well as …

Bush ignores laws he inks, vexing Congress

By LAURIE KELLMAN, Associated Press Writer
Tue Jun 27, 2:25 PM ET

WASHINGTON - The White House on Tuesday defended President Bush's frequent use of special statements that claim authority to limit the effects of bills he signs, saying the statements help him uphold the Constitution and defend national security.

Senators weren't so sure.

"It's a challenge to the plain language of the Constitution," said Arlen Specter, a Republican whose Senate Judiciary Committee opened hearings on the issue. "There is a sense that the president has taken signing statements far beyond the customary purview."

At the White House, Press Secretary Tony Snow said, "There's this notion that the president is committing acts of civil disobedience, and he's not. It's important for the president at least to express reservations about the constitutionality of certain provisions."

The bill-signing statements say Bush reserves a right to revise, interpret or disregard…

Pill-popping blowhard busted

To many, he's the voice of Red America, to others he's a bloated nuisance with an insatiable taste for prescription drugs. Yesterday, authorities at the West Palm Beach airport found one of the country's most beloved - and reviled - radio hosts in possession of pharmaceutical aphrodisiacs.

A search of Rush Limbaugh's luggage Monday by U.S. Customs and Border cops revealed he was in possession of drugs without a prescription. It seems that self-professed patriot Rush Limbaugh, 55, only flies his flag at half-mast, as cops yesterday found Viagra in his luggage. The name on the bottle's label was that of Limbaugh's doctor.

"We believe there may be a second degree misdemeanor violation, which is possession of certain drugs without a prescription, because the bottle does not have his name on it," said Paul Miller, spokesman for the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office.

The drug was "labeled as being issued to the physician rather than Mr. Limbaugh for …

Thought crimes

Freedom-loving Americans are all talking about the same thing: Is it legal to talk about how great it would be to kill George W. Bush?

As proven by last week's arrest of seven oddball black guys in Florida who wanted superhero uniforms so they could dream about exciting attacks on federal cops and a building in Chicago, it turns out that simply talking about how awesome it would be to do something illegal is enough to get you hauled away to prison forever.

With all but a delusional 30% of Americans finally realizing their country is run by a murderous criminal mafia -- and with U.S. spy agencies and telecommunications companies illegally recording every word you say, hear, type or read -- there's a good chance "Homeland Security" will bust down your door tonight and torture you forever in Cuba or Poland. (Or they'll just shoot you in the head, leaving valuable interrogators free for more important duties, such as torturing retarded people.)

So the question of "…

9/11 conspiracy theorists gather at LA conference

By Jill Serjeant

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - They wore T-shirts asking "What Really Happened?," snapped up DVDs titled "9/11; The Great Illusion," and cheered as physicists, philosophers and terrorism experts decried the official version of the Sept. 11 attacks that shook America to its core.

Some 1,200 people gathered at a Los Angeles hotel on the weekend for what organizers billed as the largest conference on the plethora of conspiracy theories that see the 2001 attacks on Washington and New York as, at best, official negligence, and at worst an orchestrated U.S. attempt to incite world war.

"There are so many prominent people who are incredibly well-respected who have stated that the evidence is overwhelming that 9/11 was an inside job," syndicated radio talk show host Alex Jones told a news conference.

"There are hundreds of smoking guns that people need to be made aware of," said Jones, calling for the impeachment of President George W. Bush and ch…

Baby Jesus' insurance cancelled!

Raising a child as a single parent can pose serious financial challenges. Fearing that they wouldn't be able to cover the expense of immaculate pregnancy, three sisters in Scotland took out insurance in the event they were so blessed. It was with heavy hearts that they heard their policies had been cancelled.

Simon Burgess, managing director of Britishinsurance.com, delivered the news last week.

"Three women, all Christian sisters who live in Inverness, came to me in the year 2000 and asked me to insure them in case they immaculately conceived the second coming of Christ," Burgess announced. "They have renewed the policy of £100 each year since 2000 and would get a payout of £1million if they had an immaculate conception."

The move came after protest from Catholics who considered such thoughtful financial planning to be in poor taste.

"Our company used to specialize in weird and wonderful policies, and this was one of them... The Catholic Church was not happ…

Gays are born that way?!?!

A shocking new study proves that gays aren't deviant monsters who choose to love men. As shocking as it may sound, God makes homosexuals.

Science had known for years that the more older brothers a made had, the more likely he was to be gay. Some people assumed this was because young boys grow accustomed to the affections of other boys. Others figured that as the baby of the family, they become sissified momma's boys.

Not true, says Anthony F. Bogaert of the Brock University in St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada.

His research shows that these people don't choose to be gay as they grow older; rather, they come out of the womb that way.

"The research suggests that the development of sexual orientation is influenced before birth," says Bogaert.

Bogaert first discovered the link between fraternal birth order and male homosexuality a decade ago. What he didn't know was "Why?"

"Is it a biological phenomenon? Or is it psychological or have to do with rearing?&q…

Pol blames Satan for crap luck

John Jacob, a Congressional candidate from Utah, said Thursday that Satan was trying to keep him out of office.

It seems the old deluder has kept Jacob from investing as much money as he'd like into his campaign, and has caused a series of recent business-related mishaps.

"You know, you plan, you organize, you put your budget together and when you have 10 things fall through, not just one, there's some other, something else that is happening," he told the Salt Lake Tribune.

"There's another force that wants to keep us from going to Washington, D.C. It's the devil is what it is. I don't want you to print that, but it feels like that's what it is," he said, apparently unaware that pleas for secrecy are like catnip to journalists.

He first brought up the Satan-as-campaign-foe theme on Wednesday, at an immigration rally, and then reiterated it in a meeting with the Salt Lake Tribune editorial staff on Thursday.

"I don't know who else it woul…

Smuggler ate 329 condoms-o'-heroin

After the quick demise of the dope-in-the-fish routine, enterprising Australian heroin smugglers have gone back to doing it the old-fashioned way: by eating it.

A 25-year-old woman was recently arrested for attempting to smuggle drugs into the country from Singapore by swallowing a mind-boggling 329 heroin-filled condoms.

News agencies aren't reporting what made authorities suspect she was smuggling, but one imagines she may have looked a little green about the gills. If a mere 60 heroin-filled condoms can take "a grueling afternoon" to choke down, and 87 can make a person so sick they voluntarily turn themselves in to police, then 329 would be truly excruciating.

The Aussie gal was apprehended at the Sydney airport and taken to a nearby hospital, where she spent the week pooping out around $90,000 AUD of heroin.

She now faces life imprisonment and a maximum penalty of $825,000.

I can't even begin to imagine what swallowing one of those is like, yet alone 329, that is jus…

Disgraced army goat demoted

Lance corporal Billy, a ceremonial pet goat in the British army, was demoted for poor behavior in a parade in Cyprus marking Queen Elizabeth II's birthday.

Billy refused to march in line, and instead tried to "headbutt the waist and nether regions of the drummers," according to Captain William Rose, a soldier at the parade.

The entire nation of England stood shamed at the abominable conduct of the goat in front of foreign dignitaries. In the wake of the incident, Billy has been demoted from lance corporal to fusilier, a rank equivalent to private. Soldiers of lower rank are no longer expected to salute him.

The goat has been the mascot for the First Battalion, the Royal Welsh regiment, for five and a half years. However, the parade was his first tour overseas.

"He has certainly not made a good start for himself," said Captain Crispian Coates.

But all is not lost: "His situation is currently being reviewed and he could regain his rank," said Captain Coates.

Alex Jones' TerrorStorm

Telemarketeer

I thought this was one of my responses to a telemarketer, till I heard the accent

Cheney's dream hunting trip

Watch out rich white rebublicans, Cheney's getting ready for another hunting trip

Family Guy - Outfarted

The Electric Six - Gay Bar

Detroit's very own Electric Six!

This version is banned in the U.S. and U.K.

For some reason the president, and primeminister didn't like this video.

A Terrifying Message from Al Gore

Raccoon eats cats!

A hungry raccoon is terrorizing the sleepy Bay Area town of Cupertino. It has eaten at least three housecats since Memorial Day.

At this time of year, raccoons are normally gorging themselves on plums and apricots, steering clear of domestic pets. However, heavy spring rains delayed fruit from ripening. So the raccoons are hungry--and the cats are slow.

Resident Jackie Jackson recently lost her 11-year-old cat, Tiki, to the masked menace. She let him out at 4 in the morning on Memorial Day and never saw him again...until a neighbor found his body in her yard.

"The raccoons leave the head and shoulders," Jackson told the San Jose Mercury News.

Pest control Steve Hebert said that raccoons have been know to attack animals as large as German shepherds. However, a Canadian woman recently reported being personally harrassed by raccoons.

"[T]hey come after you. [The bigger one] literally comes after you. It chases you and growls at you. I've literally had to run away and jump i…

Lonely America

In just 20 years, the number of Americans without a single close friend has nearly tripled -- to a quarter of the population.

A depressing new study released today proves that people in the United States are becoming more isolated and more lonely at a rapid pace.

In the new study, only 50.6% had a close relationship with someone who wasn't their spouse or relative -- down from 73.2% in the mid-1980s -- and 24.6% had nobody at all, compared to just 10% in 1985.

In 1985, Americans on average counted about three confidants, including relatives. Now they have only two, on average.

The huge jump in people having only a family member as confidant doesn't just make people's worlds smaller; it literally kills them quicker than those with non-relative friends.

Those who counted only their spouse as a confidant nearly doubled, from 5% to 9%. Researchers say these people are setting themselves up for trouble, because spouses often leave or die.

People who have close friends are happier and…

Soldiers in Iraq Have Twice As Many Migraines

Friday, June 23, 2006
By Kathleen Doheny

U.S. combat soldiers in Iraq are more than twice as likely to suffer migraine headaches as the general American population.

That news was reported by a military doctor at the 48th Annual Scientific Meeting of the American Headache Society in Los Angeles.

While about one in seven Americans suffers migraines or "probable migraines," more than one in three soldiers did so during the last three months of their one-year tour of combat duty, according to the doctor’s study. Just one in 20 of them had been diagnosed before being deployed.

"We're the first to study migraine in deployed soldiers," says Captain Brett Theeler, MD, a neurology resident at Madigan Army Medical Center in Fort Lewis, Wash., who presented the data.

He decided to do the study after noticing soldiers coming into the medical center at Fort Lewis who were complaining of headaches. "We had a hypothesis it would be more common ([among soldiers seeing combat],”…

Clowns of Peace

A trio of old clowns launched an assault on America's nuclear missile defense system Tuesday.

Armed guards took the clowns down within minutes. According to one eyewitness, the clowns "ate a lot of gravel."

"The individuals used bolt cutters to gain access to the site. Once inside, they attempted to destroy government property using hammers and by posting graffiti," Col. Sandra Finan, commander of the 91st Space Wing at Minot Air Force Base in North Dakota, told reporters Wednesday.

The clowns "took a hammer and beat on some of the external components, then they sprayed graffiti in several different locations and hung some signs."

What they spray painted on the side of the missile silo was, "It's a sin to build a nuclear weapon."

Greg Boertje-Obed, 51, Michael Walli, 57, and Carl Kabat, 72, -- two military veterans and a priest -- are volunteers with Nukewatch, out of Luck, Wisconsin. They say their assault was "a call for national repen…

Snow: Program vital to war on terrorism

By JEANNINE AVERSA, AP Economics Writer
Fri Jun 23, 7:43 PM ET

WASHINGTON - The Bush administration said Friday an anti-terrorism program that taps into an immense international database of confidential financial records has adequate safeguards to protect Americans' privacy.

Democrats and civil liberties groups said the effort had disturbing similarities to another controversial anti-terrorism program of warrantless spying on telephone calls and e-mails.

Treasury Secretary John Snow called the financial-records effort "government at its best" and said it was "entirely consistent with our democratic values, with our best legal traditions."

The program, kept secret until it was revealed Thursday by news organizations, has been going on since shortly after the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks.

Using broad government subpoenas, the program allows U.S. counterterrorism analysts to obtain financial information from a vast database maintained by a company based in Belgium. It…

Mall makes girl remove smiley faces

Eager to enjoy a beautiful summer day at the mall with her mom, an Illinois girl wrapped her head in smiley faces, flowers and peace signs. Her joy quickly turned to sorrow when a jack-booted mall cop made her take off the offensive bandanna.

Lydia Smith, 10, and her mother were enjoying the gastronomic delights at the food court of the aptly named Battlefield Mall this past Saturday. While they ate, a rent-a-cop patrolling the area made a nearby teen remove a bandanna. The thug then turned his attention to the little girl.

"(The officer) asked me to take it off and said there's this new rule we have or something like that," Lydia said.

Lydia's mother Susan asked why on earth her child was being accosted in such a manner. The fashionista quietly handed her a printed copy of the Battlefield Mall Code of Conduct. It seems that by "wearing apparel which is likely to provoke a disturbance or embroil other groups or the general public in open conflict" her little g…

U.S. captures the Unknown Terrorist

The terror kabuki continues today with the Army's announcement that they have yet again captured a "senior al Qaeda cell leader," but they haven't yet figured this new villain's name, despite having captured him on Monday.

In a raid southwest of Baquba - not far from the spot of Zarqawi's latest death - this newest super villain was detained along with three others.

"He is known to be involved in facilitating foreign terrorists throughout central Iraq, and is suspected of having ties to previous attacks on Coalition and Iraqi forces," said a statement from the military.

Why they haven't identified this terrible menace is anyone's guess, though it does highlight a disheartening trend. Earlier this week they claimed to have killed "Sheik Mansur," the man who led the Chechens against Catherine the Great's armies in the 18th Century.

The Bush Administration has been keeping the propaganda pedal down of late. One day it's Zarqawi, t…

World's No.1 Terrorist

By SHERYL GAY STOLBERG
Published: June 21, 2006

VIENNA, June 21 — President Bush, visiting this central European city with the aim of promoting trans-Atlantic unity, instead issued an impassioned defense of his Iraq policy today amid pointed reminders of how far the United States has fallen in the eyes of many Europeans.

As the president met with President Heinz Fischer of Austria, hundreds marched with banners reading "World's No. 1 Terrorist."

"That's absurd!" Mr. Bush declared, dismissing a reporter's suggestion that most Europeans regard the United States as a bigger threat to global stability than North Korea, which has proclaimed it has nuclear weapons, and Iran, which is suspected of developing them.

Later, asked about polls showing Europeans have a low opinion of him, the president said: "Look, people didn't agree with my decision on Iraq, and I understand that. For Europe, September the 11th was a moment; for us, it was a change of thinking…

Indians tail monkey man in search of healing powers

KOLKATA, JUNE 20: Thousands of people are flocking to an impoverished village in West Bengal to worship a man they believe possesses divine powers because he climbs up trees in seconds, gobbles up bananas and has a 'tail'.

Devotees say 27-year-old villager Chandre Oraon is an incarnation of the Hindu god Hanuman -- worshipped by millions as a symbol of physical strength, perseverance and devotion.

"He climbs up trees, behaves like a monkey and is a strict vegetarian, but he is no god and his condition is just a congenital defect," says Bhushan Chakraborty, the local medical officer.

Tucked away in a hamlet in Banarhat, over 650 km north of Kolkata, devotees wait for hours to see or touch Oraon's 13-inch tail, believing that it has healing powers.

Doctors said the 'tail' -- made up of some flesh but mostly of dark hair -- was simply a rare physical attribute.

"It is a congenital anomaly, but very rarely do we find such cases," B Ramana, a Kolkata-base…

Warmongers suck at war

Unsatisfied by three years of irrefutable headlines, scientists recently set out to determine just how good certain folks are at waging war. Not surprisingly, arrogant, macho buffoons love to wage war but are really bad at doing so.

Research by Peter Turchin of the University of Connecticut blames the condition on "positive illusions."

"(The study) supplies critically needed experimental support for the idea that positive attitude - which is generally a [beneficial] feature of human behavior - may lead to overconfidence and [damaging] behaviour in the case of war," Turchin says.

In his 2003 paper "Do Positive Illusions Promote War?" (PDF) Dominic Johnson, then at Harvard University, found that such illusions often cause people to rush into war.

"Perhaps it is our overconfidence that keeps us constantly at war," Johnson wrote in closing.

It's believed that in the past "positive illusions" were an aid in our survival, allowing earlier peo…

Who killed Philip Merrill?

Washington GOP insider Philip Merrill's body was dragged from Chesapeake Bay on Monday, 11 miles from where his sailboat was found last week, an anchor tied around his ankles and his head disfigured from a shotgun blast.

It now appears the multimillionaire publisher who held top Bush Family appointments at NATO and the Pentagon mysteriously "committed suicide" in exactly the same fashion as CIA-Watergate operative and JFK-assassination figure John Paisley.

Paisley "committed suicide" in 1978 on a solo sailing trip, also on the Chesapeake Bay. Like Merrill, Paisley's corpse was found with weights tied around his ankles and a gunshot wound to the head. His abandoned sailboat was loaded with top secret CIA files on various clandestine operations, despite Paisley's official retirement four years earlier.

Former CIA chief William Colby suffered a similar fate in 1996, when he allegedly took a nighttime canoe trip, leaving his house unlocked, computer turned on,…

Tagging HIV patients

Plans to track the movements of once-free Americans continue to march forward. Radio Frequency Identification (RFID) tags are being put into everything from your passport to your pets. Plans to tag immigrants - even legal ones - are already being discussed in Washington. Now, one of the world's leading drug makers is tagging HIV patients.

GlaxoSmithKline has begun placing RFID tags on all bottles of their drug Trizivir, given to HIV-positive patients in an effort to keep AIDS from developing. Now anyone carrying the medication can be tracked.

It's bad enough that they tag razors or shampoo, all that can be learned from possession of those items is the presence of hair. But with GSK tagging retrovirals - and soon other drugs, now the government can keep tabs on a much narrower demographic.

Defenders of RFID technology say that the tags are only used for short-distance reading. But anyone using a high-gain antenna can scan the tags from a distance. They could even scan your house f…

Another AT&T secret room revealed

By: Michael Hampton

In a nondescript building near the junction of Interstates 70 and 270 in Bridgeton, Mo., just outside of St. Louis, lies what appears to be the heart of AT&T’s secret network surveillance on behalf of the U.S. government, former employees of the company said.

Salon reports that in 2002, AT&T converted part of the facility into a highly secure area complete with a “mantrap,” an enclosed space with separate doors on entry and exit requiring retinal scan and fingerprint authentication to pass through, and obtained Top Secret/Sensitive Compartmented Intelligence security clearance for several employees, the former employees said. The security is consistent with work on an NSA program, according to intelligence sources who spoke with Salon.

The former employees said that they were told the employees in the secret room were “monitoring network traffic” and the project was for “a government agency.”

“It was very hush-hush,” said one of the former AT&T workers. “We…

Bush breaks the law AGAIN!!!!

Outraged that the junior senator from New York has tried to stifle their freedom of expression and fearing Monday's vote on a flag burning amendment, an anonymous gang of freedom fighters blazed a trail of American flags Wednesday night.

And in his own quiet way, the president sent them a signal of solidarity.

Cops in Brooklyn this morning received seven complaints that flags hung proudly on folks' homes had been torched. It's believed that the arson took place between 9 p.m. Wednesday and 7 a.m. Thursday.

The case is being investigated as a simple matter of criminal mischief, but this "crime" goes far higher than a gang of street toughs. It reaches all the way to the White House.

In Vienna today, President Bush was surrounded by a throng of fans and well-wishers -- mostly Republicans employed by the local U.S. embassy.

Bush reportedly used a Sharpie felt-tip pen to scribble his autograph across one American flag as a souvenir for at least one happy Republican, and in…

Janitor cracks conspiracy

It was just a weird message spray-painted on the Boone County administrative building, but for janitor Ken Roberts the graffiti has opened his eyes to a staggering conspiracy that permeates every aspect of life.

Roberts was doing his usual rounds on Monday when he saw the striking slogan in carefully painted red letters on the wall of a maintenance shed.

problem reaction solution ... get it yet?

As head of the Missouri county's facilities maintenance department, Roberts knew he had to take the graffiti seriously.

"Sometimes we get the basic 'f--k you cops' graffiti," Roberts told the Columbia Daily Tribune. "But nothing of the political nature or of the educated nature."

With skills learned from television shows such as "CSI" and his copy of "The Da Vinci Code," Roberts got himself to a computer and began his investigation.

What he found was terrifying.

"It's not your basic vandals; it's actually a conspiracy movement," he…

Being a cable guy(different company) I totally feel for this tech.

Dashboard Confessional - Don't Wait

Dashboard Confessional - Vindicted

Down the memory hole

Just a decade ago, a fleet of sleek all-electric American cars were zooming around California. But the beloved EV1 was killed by a massive conspiracy that's still at work today trying to annihilate all memory of the gasoline-free vehicle.

The first batch of General Motors' EV1 battery-powered automobiles hit the streets in 1996, to meet new California requirements that emission-free cars make up 2% of new inventory by the mid-1990s. There were 5,000 people on the waiting list to lease one of the sleek EV1s, but California abruptly backtracked on the zero-emissions law and GM killed the whole program in 2003.

Heartbroken EV1 drivers were literally forced to return the lease-only vehicles -- and then General Motors smashed the futuristic cars to bits. One of the few surviving EV1s was at the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History, part of an exhibit of advances in automobile technology. Suddenly, it's gone.

A scathing new documentary about the EV1 premieres on Ju…

Ray Guns In The Cinema: Camera Neutralizing Device Unveiled

Compulsive tinkerers at the Georgia Institute of Technology have built a prototype device that they say can stop digital cameras functioning in a given area. The device uses off-the-shelf equipment - camera-mounted sensors, lighting equipment, a projector and a computer - to scan for, identify and neutralize both still and video digital cameras. The researchers have their eye on two markets - protecting limited areas against clandestine photography and stopping video copying in larger areas such as theaters, explained Geogia Tech's Gregory Abowd.

Abowd said the device could be used to prevent espionage photography in government buildings, industrial settings or trade shows. Co-researcher James Clawson added that preventing movie copying could be a major application for the camera-blocking technology. "Movie piracy is a $3 billion-a-year problem. If someone videotapes a movie in a theater and then puts it up on the web that night or burns half a million copies to sell on the st…

White House ignored Iran's 2003 make-nice

Iran offered pretty much everything the United States wanted back in 2003 -- including recognition of Israel, complete cooperation on nuclear issues and an end to financing Palestinian extremist groups.

The White House completely ignored the two-page offer.

On Sunday, the Washington Post revealed the depraved depths of the Bush Administration in its ceaseless quest for war against Iran.

"But top Bush administration officials, convinced the Iranian government was on the verge of collapse, belittled the initiative," the Post reported Sunday.

"Instead, they formally complained to the Swiss ambassador who had sent the fax with a cover letter certifying it as a genuine proposal supported by key power centers in Iran, former administration officials said."

Today's seemingly choreographed "crisis" with North Korea aims to deflect attention from a determined White House effort to create a war against Iran despite that country's clear attempts to stay out of th…

Japan PM announces Iraq troop withdrawal

By Linda Sieg

TOKYO (Reuters) - Japan has decided to withdraw its troops from Iraq, Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi announced on Tuesday, ending the Japanese military's riskiest and most ambitious overseas mission since World War Two.

Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki said on Monday his forces would take over security from July in the southern province of Muthanna, where the British oversee a multinational contingent that includes Japanese troops.

Japan's troop despatch -- a symbol of Tokyo's willingness to put "boots on the ground" for its close ally, the United States, and to take a bigger global security role -- won praise from Washington. But it was opposed by many at home including critics who said the despatch violated Japan's pacifist constitution.

The decision to withdraw comes ahead of Koizumi's visit to Washington for talks with President George W. Bush in late June and the end of his term as ruling party president, and hence as prime minister, i…

Pentagon says gays are nuts

The Pentagon's "don't ask, don't tell" policy is dumb enough. But now a document has been unearthed that outlines the Army's policies for discharging soldiers. It says homosexuality is a "defect," along with mental retardation and personality disorders.

Up until 1973, the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders listed homosexuality as a clinical mental disorder. A vote that year resulted in the acknowledgment by the psychiatric community that gays were no crazier than breeders.

But researchers at the Center for the Study of Sexual Minorities in the Military, at the University of California at Santa Barbara, found that the Pentagon still thinks gays are loony.

Nathaniel Frank, a senior fellow at the CSSMM thinks the policy speaks volumes about the military.

"The policy reflects the (Defense) department's continued misunderstanding of homosexuality and makes it more difficult for gays and lesbi…

9/11 plot in 1995!

In the months before the 9/11 attacks on the United States, dozens of artists spontaneously started making images, music and films about terrible things happening to the World Trade Center and America at large.

But the latest discovery of 9/11 predictions goes back to 1995, when Steve Jackson Games released its new version of the popular "Illuminati" strategy card game.

What's most disturbing about the images of the Pentagon on fire and dual explosions in the World Trade Center towers is not the accuracy but the motivation.

"Illuminati: New World Order" is all about competing alliances of secret societies controlling (and exterminating) the world population through fake terrorism, manufactured epidemics, media manipulation, "combined disasters," agents provocateurs, phony religious leaders and stage-managed Hegelian contests between idealogies such as Islam vs. Christianity, Communism vs. Capitalism or Left vs. Right.

The game is loosely based on the cons…

Doomsday seed vault

A shadowy cabal of world leaders met today to make preparations for the end of the world. Foremost in their minds: Seeds.

The prime ministers of Norway, Finland, Denmark, Iceland, and Finland put down the cornerstone of a doomsday seed bank on a remote island in Arctic Norway.

Should the world suffer disease, famine, flood, nuclear war, earthquakes, global warming, or terrorism -- and really, what are the chances? -- plants' biogenetic diversity will rest safe within a cozy envelope of permafrost, concrete, and metal. The Svalbard International Seed Vault will hold around 3 million seeds as a last-ditch safeguard against species extinction.

Also, polar bears will hang around outside to make sure hooligans keep their distance.

Even if power fails in the seed bank, the layer of permafrost will keep the seeds safe as the human race slowly extinguishes itself in an orgy of pestilence and war.

"The seeds will retain their ability to germinate for a long time," cheerily piped the N…

Art pics get art teacher fired

A high school teacher has been fired, not for everyday reasons like having sex with students or driving drunk, but for the truly terrible crime of being photographed nude in various artsy settings.

Austin art teacher Tamara Hoover has found herself embroiled in controversy after another teacher ratted her out for appearing in the photos on Flickr.

Hoover, beloved by students and respected by her peers, had argued all year with teacher Gayle "Snitchy" Andrews over a kiln. After a recent spat, students told Andrews that they knew how to get back at Hoover -- by telling authorities about the completely harmless, non-pornographic pictures her photographer partner had taken of her.

School officials acted quickly to fire Hoover.

In a city where women regularly bathe top-free and its most popular homeless person walks around town in a thong, it is chilling news indeed to hear that cute punky art gals can get fired for being cute and punky.

The Austin American-Statesman opined, "The…

Curious GWB

Seth MacFarlane's Harvard Class Day Speech STEWIE (3 of 4)

The Corruptibles

Newly released emails suggest Army Corps lied about Cheney role in Halliburton contract

New documents obtained by a conservative watchdog group suggest that the US Army Corp of Engineers may have publicly lied regarding the involvement of the Vice President's office in awarding a 2003 multi-billion dollar, no-bid contract to Kellogg Brown and Root, a subsidiary of Halliburton, RAW STORY has learned.

RAW STORY has obtained a copy of the emails, which were acquired by the government watchdog group Judicial Watch under the Freedom of Information Act.

The newly released emails show the Army Corps attempting to deflect attention from Cheney's office by distributing talking points that would mask Cheney's purported role. The Corps could not immediately be reached for comment.

Among the 100 pages of newly-obtained documents is an 2003 email in which Army Corps official Carol Sanders writes, "Mr. Robert Andersen, Chief Counsel, USACE, participated in a 60 Minutes interview today in New York regarding the sole source award of the oil response contract to Kellogg, Br…

Bush declines to meet with border officials

Bush snubs border sheriffs President refuses to meet coalition as lawmakers prepare hearings

Sara A. Carter Staff Writer


President Bush has refused to meet with border law enforcement officials from Texas for a second time. His response to their request came in the form of a letter Monday, angering both lawmakers and sheriffs.

In fact, some Republican members of Congress, upset by what they call the administration's seeming lack of concern for border security, are preparing to hold investigative hearings in San Diego and Laredo, Texas, early next month.
Members of the House subcommittee on international terrorism and nonproliferation hope to expose serious security flaws that could potentially lead to terrorist attacks in the country, said Rep. Ted Poe, R-Texas, who is a member of the panel and has pushed for the hearings.

"The next terrorist is not going to come in through (Transportation Security Administration) screening at Kennedy airport," Poe said. "We already hav…

Cat-food warfare

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Army researchers working with robot soldiers have come up with a novel solution for their insurgent-village simulation.

Instead of spending a million bucks on computer virtual-reality environments, they just made a little tiny Iraqi town out of cat-food boxes.

The palm trees are made from pipe cleaners, and the 1/32 scale trucks and cars are just cheap store-bought toys. Plastic toy soldiers represent the U.S. troops allegedly interacting with the killer robots.

Once the cat-food Arab town was constructed, researchers used little cameras to shoot video of all the different streets and squares and angles, which will then be used for training the monstrous death machines.

Middle-class New Yorkers: Screwed

A new study confirms that it's only become harder for regular people to live in New York City. The amount of affordable housing available to households earning $32,000 a year dropped by 17% in the past three years.

That means that many firefighters, police officers, bartenders, and home health workers can't afford to live in the city they serve.

Amazingly, there's been some debate about whether this is a good or a bad thing.

On the one hand, there's the fact that rising costs force people into multiple jobs, crowded housing situations, or out of the city altogether.

(There's also that crazy old-fashioned idea that the U.S. depends on a thriving middle class to prevent it from degenerating into a Latin-American style plutocracy. And it's always nice for the middle class to have places to live.)

On the other hand, there are the economists. They say that rents go up because more people want to live in New York, which is more proof of how desirable the city is and how a…

America loves Nazis

Outrageous new evidence points to CIA-Nazi collaboration that far exceeded previously known post-World War II efforts to take Hitler's "best and brightest" under the wing of America's intelligence agencies and aerospace industry.

The Federation of American Scientists -- a government-watchdog group founded by the nuclear pioneers who created the atomic bomb for the United States -- released pages of damning documents on June 6.

A pair of Washington renegades (Sen. Mike DeWine and Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney) finally succeeded in forcing the intel agencies to release some documents they've kept hidden for half a century, despite the efforts by the few brave Senators and U.S. Representatives who believed Washington's long love affair with Nazi Germany's cruelest monsters should come to light.

Porter Goss, the CIA boss who recently quit under a cloud of scandal, was reportedly a great help in getting the old CIA documents released.

The FAS report, "New Inf…

Crooks in Congress take a pay hike

They're rocked by scandal almost daily, their job approval rating hovers around 30% and their salary is more four times that of the average American. No wonder folks in Congress gave themselves a raise.

Not only did Congress bump its own pay $3,300 to $168,500, they wouldn't even let the matter be put up for discussion. Rep. Jim Matheson, D-Utah, tried in vain to put the cost of living adjustment before the House.

"I do not think that it is appropriate to let this bill go through without an up or down vote on whether or not Congress should have an increase in its own pay," Matheson said.

This is the sixth year in a row that Matheson has tried valiantly to stop the Congress from doing this. Last year he tried to pass a bill that would've put an end to the annual raise happening automatically.

"We continue to swim in a pool of red ink," he sighed.

The Senate had tried to block the raise, with a 92 - 6 vote, but buckled under pressure from the House of Represen…