Long-dead bogeyman killed AGAIN

Washington's No. 1 terror bogeyman was reportedly killed again in Iraq last night, the White House claimed today.

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi was allegedly killed this time by massive U.S. bombing of a little house 30 miles north of Baghdad. Amazingly, Zarqawi was said to be still clinging to life even after 1,000 pounds of bombs rained down upon him.

Even more amazingly, he had grown back the leg he lost years ago.

Some "terror website" nobody's ever heard of "confirmed" the mysterious Zarqawi's death.

Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki said at a press conference that Zarqawi was killed along with seven others, including his spiritual adviser Sheik Al Rahman, by a U.S. air strike while meeting in a safe house 30 miles northeast of Baghdad.

U.S. forces, reportedly acting on tips from traitors within Zarqawi's little gang, had been watching him for three days. On Wednesday afternoon they tracked Al Rahman for two hours as he worked his way to the meeting place, Washington claimed today.

At approximately 6:15 p.m. local time, two 500-pound bombs were dropped on the house (video available at CNN). As the dust settled, troops from the 101st airborne and Iraqi police moved in. Reports are that the terrorist leader was still alive when the soldiers entered the smoldering ruins of the house and later "died from his injuries."

Shockingly, his body was then handed over to Iraqi police for identification by his fingerprints, facial features and known scars. These are the same clowns who had reportedly captured Zarqawi two years ago -- and then released him because they didn't know who he was.

George W. Bush, in desperate need of some political "good news," rushed to the TV cameras and said, predictably, that Zarqawi's latest death was "a severe blow to Al Qaeda and it is a significant victory in the war on terror."

Perhaps having been told not to make more premature declarations, Bush said, "We have tough days ahead of us in Iraq that will require the continuing patience of the American people."

To hear pro-Jihadi pundits like Abdelbari Atwan, the editor of al Quds al Arabi speaking on Al Jazeera tell it, the "death of Zarqawi won't weaken Al Qaeda but will actually unify the organization ... Jihadists will increase their operations in Iraq. For the more the organization is repressed the more it will produce Jihadists."

His family, no doubt like his followers, now see Zarqawi as a martyr.

"We expected that he would be martyred," said his older brother, Sayel al-Khalayleh. "We hope that he will join other martyrs in heaven."

Zarqawi has proved a useful rallying cry for an administration that could never be bothered to actually hunt and kill America's true enemy, Osama bin Laden.

Ever since December 27, 2004, when Zarqawi was supposedly tapped by Bin Laden to run "Al Qaeda operations in Iraq," he has been the Arab the administration loves to hate.

Going back to 2002, the litany of crimes Zarqawi claimed responsibility for was appalling. Countless be headings, kidnappings and bombings left a trail of blood all across the Middle East.

Even before Zarqawi was anointed by Bin Laden, Colin Powell faked a bogus connection between the two men during a February 5, 2003, briefing before the U.N. Security Council.

The Jordanian-born madman has been "killed" before; the last time was reported on November 20, 2005. Then it was alleged that he and seven others had blown themselves up. Before that, the Associated Press in March of 2004 claimed that he had died "some time ago."