Being Sick Blows!!!!!!!!

Ok, ok, I admit it, I'm sick, my son is sick, everyone around me is sick!!! This is the first time my son has been really sick, and it made me think back to when I was his age, and had my first real illness. So I thought I would share this little trip down memory lane with everyone. My grandmother, who moved to the states when she was 18 from Germany, would always demand that she take care of me when I got sick. Now her, being stuck in her german mind set, and never trully understanding the concept of a drinking age, considered tea, laced with a shot of booze, and a spoonfull of honey, with just a few drops of lemon juice, the cure all for all illnesses. Now after a intense questioning of my ailments, she would begin the brewing of the tea, hot water, ad tea bag, wait till water is slightly brownish, it's,,,,,,ready, ok, now a coupls drops of lemon, fine fine, were wasting space, ad very healthy spoon full of honey, more, more, ad just a bit more, got to keep those cute little bee's employed. Now to the bathroom medicene cabinet, aka the wet bar, and begin mixing. A splash of gin, just a drop of bourbon, oh a smidge of rum, stir and then chug, repeat till you start to fill better, or just don't care how crappy you feel. Now, I would be lieing if I didn't admit, I spent most of my teenage years desperatly trying to find sick people, and trying to convince them into coughing on me. So, please take your fancy medicenes and cough syrups, and shove them up your ass, give me a jar of honey, some crappy tea, and a bottle of rum, I'll happily trade a flu, for a hangover. Anyone else feeling a little under the weather?

Safe Phone Sex

Ok, were just taking this way to fucking far, a god damn rubber for your cell phone!!!!! Come on, live dangerously, take a chance, what in the fuck are you going to catch, it's your fucking cell phone, it's not like someone is shoving it up there asses when your not around. Well, I don't know, I mean I guess if you put it on vibrate, that might kinda come in handy,,,,could I please get a pack of the pretty pink ones,,,,,thanks


Interesting offer from Telephone Organization of Thailand

I got my phone bill today from TOT, the Telephone Organization of Thailand. There was an insert in the envelope advertising some of their new services. I normally just toss these things. But upon closer examination they have a new offer that looks very interesting. Take a close look at the photo above and tell me if this is something you would not expect from a boring old telephone company.

Now thats service!!!!!

sex survey

The Durex 2005 Global Sex Survey has been published, Curzon at Coming Anarchy examines the results.:
* Greeks do it the most, followed by Croatia, Serbia, and Bulgaria. * Malaysians like to do it in the toilet and their parent’s bedroom * Thais like to use porn. * Indians are late to start and faithful at it. * South Africans risk their lives doing it (which may explain a lot) as do women from New Zealand. * The Chinese are least happy (22%!) with it. * The Japanese do it the least, again (just 45 times a year); Singaporeans rank second to last (at 73 times a year). * Canadian women like it more than Canadian men. * Australians are average. Also note,Taiwanese are the most likely (47%) to use vibrators as a sex aid;

beijing steps up war on terror

With the US State Department issuing terror alert warnings for Guangzhou and other areas, it's refreshing to see that the capital has started taking precautions.:

This sign I noticed in the Sanlitun diplomatic compound in Beijing: You are not allowed to blow up your car! Not sure if it is a temporary sign (Mr. Bush will visit Beijing this week) or whether it has been here longer already. Or does it mean something else?

Why can't we simplify our terror alerts, fuck what orange or red means, just give use a sign saying what we can and can not blow up.

I'm sorry, but we will need to reschedule all car bombings. I am sorry for the inconvience caused by this, but we do have a few openings for next week.

Shag your toilet!!!!

Following the revelation that Malaysian's prefer to have sex in washrooms, TV Smith produces the definitive guide.:

In the recent 2005 Durex Global Sex Survey, Malaysians overwhelmingly picked the toilet as the preferred place for shagging outside a bedroom. In view of this prevalent practice, Dua Sen presents the definitive guide to toilet bonking...

Where: Recommended: • Unisex toilets: Beach Club, Passion, Loft, Thai Club, Liquid KL • Spacious toilets: Imbi Food Court, KL, Press Club of KL. • Lonely toilets: Shell Station, Batu 13 Ulu Langat. • Artistic toilets: Pudu Complex (excellent erotic graffiti on doors).

Not recommended: • Rajooz Curry House PJ - Stack of dirty dishes inside. • The Mall KL - The doors are about 3 or 4 feet high. • Boutique Toilet KLCC - Will people who won't pay for a room pay RM 4 for a toilet? • LRT Stations - Gadget mounted to prevent squatting over bowl hinders smooth sex. • Zouk KL - Bouncers get upset. • Toilets for the handicapped - Peter Tan gets really upset.

Don't forget to watch out for the plunger being left in a place that could become a danger to you or your partnet. That could really kill the mood.

Barrett's Honor College

I was notified yesterday that i have been accepted into Barrett's Honor College at Arizona State University. So we will be picking up an...