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Showing posts from January, 2006
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Help Wanted

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Readers beware!!!!

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Stop making the bunny cry!!

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Survey

where are you right now? I'M right behind youwhat did you do today? Thisthree things that help you get through the day?Drinking myself into a coma, porn, and masturbating intill I black outwho did you last talk to on the phone? A fucking tellamarketer, I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!!favorite food:Thai, and Japanesefavorite music: Alternativedrink of choice:CokeComplete:In ten years: Drunk in a bar in a foreign countryYour ideal man/woman: Super hot, super smart, and funny, and able to put up with me on a regular basisThe perfect vacation: Fiji, need I say moreIf you threw a dinner party and could invite any three people, living or dead, who would you ask to come:Poe, for his upbeat stories, Sung Hi Li, for her tasty, yummy eye candy ness, and Kiera Knightly for her super hot tastinessRight Now:are you in a relationship?Some whatdo you have a crush on anyone? Yesare you happy? For the most partwhat are you listening to? The Football Gamewhat are you thinking about? S…

Spam, the evilist of all evil doers

Warning: This is without a doubt the most depraved, foul, insidious and malevolent of all possible evil professions. If you choose this job you will be hated by good and evil-doers alike, becoming the lowest of all possible lows, with vigilantes hunting you and entire religions springing up devoted to your destruction. And not without good reason.
You will need: "Special $200 CD with email addresses lifted from USENET! All completely legal! Really!"
Also required: Overall worthlessness, wretched stench, complete and utter lameness, heart of darkness, unending depravity, lack of a soul, I.Q. the equivalent of pond scum, and the charm of a three-day-dead rat left festering in the sun that even the maggots won't touch because it's so goddamn ugly and repulsive.
We won't actually go into the details of this job as it's far too disgusting, even for us. Nevertheless, as a spammer you will now honestly be able to say your downfall from humanity is complete, that your e…

Oh Marco were did we go wrong with you???

(13 January 2005, Croatia) One fateful afternoon, 55-year-old Marko retreated to his semi-detached workshop to make himself a tool for chimney cleaning. The chimney was too high for a simple broom to work, but if he could attach a brush to a chain and then weigh it down with something, that would do the trick. But what could he use as a weight?
He happened to have the perfect object. It was heavy, yet compact. And best of all, it was made of metal, so he could weld it to the chain. He must have somehow overlooked the fact that it was also a hand grenade and was filled with explosive material.
Marko turned on his welding apparatus and began to create an arc between the chain and the grenade. As the metal heated up, the grenade exploded. The force of the explosion killed poor Marko instantly, blasting shrapnel through the walls of the shed and shattering the windshield of a Mercedes parked outside. Marko's chimney was untouched, however.

Someone missed the class on not keeping treats in there pants durring a riot

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What can happen in 30 days at McD's

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The New Navy Upgrade

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Navy, Showtoons, & choreography, lets go to war!!

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Brokeback Boxing

MARK, YOU HAVE TO CHECK THIS OUT, IT'S SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!

Don't you just hate starting at the bottom

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Date Rape!!!!!!!!

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I bought you dinner, then you try to ditch me? Your so going to get it!!!!

I really hope you can read this!!!!!

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Turner's Family Tree

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SIT DOWN!!!!!!!

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CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE THIS BULL SHIT!!!!!!!!????????

MYTH #1: "Men can pee standing up" Fact: The reality is men can NOT pee standing up without getting as much as a stray drop on the seat or the outside surface of the toilet. Fragmentation of the urine stream causes particles of urine to dissipate. The larger the distance urine has to travel, the bigger the dissipation radius gets. Some of you may say, "No, not me! I can pee through a donut from 40 feet above!" Well, mister hand-eye coordination, you are probably one of those people who also never ask for directions. Admitting that you have a problem is half the battle. At some point in your life you need to ask yourself, "Is it worth it? What has peeing standing up cost me in my life?"


MYTH #2: "It's a victimless crime."Fact: Peeing standing up destroys families. Who cleans the bathrooms in your house? Your mother? Your wife? Even if you clean up after yourself, what happens when you are …

And I thought I needed a healthier hobby!!!!

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This website, well, these guys have a real issue with garden gnomes, kinda like me and clowns, but I don't shove sharp objects into there skulls, I hide under my bed in the fetal position till there gone, but there is some pretty funny things here, so check it out.

Evil?????

So you have decided to be Evil:
A Step-by-Step Guide to joining the Forces of Darkness

This website will help you in all evil endeavors. Whether your trying to be come a evil mastermind, or just a ruthless henchman, get all your questions answered here.

When will you Die??

I'm scheduled for Friday, August 9, 2058

Why yes I am interested in You long Distance Calling Plans, Please, tell me more

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honesty in fortune telling

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Saturday night, beer goggles, and a hot chick??

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There's something wrong with my pussy!!!

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An extremely fat person who's jumped off a building

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Watch the center dot...

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Keep you eyes focused on the dot in the middle of the image, and move your head back and forth to and from the screen. The wheels will appear to be turning!

Wasn't this Safeways Sign at one time?

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The 19th Hole

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Mark, I finally found those pictures of Skippy, from high school, He was such a rebel back then.

A Snake Eating A Man

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Cracker, the other white meat

This is really sad!!!!!!

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An infant born with four legs, three hands, three kidneys and an abnormal liver to a rural Zambian woman two weeks ago, is pictured in Lusaka, July 2, 2003. Doctors at Zambia's main Lusaka University Teaching Hospital said July 3, 2003 the babies deformities were caused by incomplete growth of another fetus and multiplication of cells. They said the baby, whose is yet to be named, would be operated upon and is likely to lead a normal life. Picture taken July 2. REUTERS/Salim Henry

Can we get this guy a tissue please!!!!!

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GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

Fuggy Fuggy

This is a pretty funny cartoon. Watch it, you'll like it!!!!

Russian exercise from the 30's

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You are suppose to rub ice, or very cold water over your nipples everyday. I wonder what they do for there leisure time activities?

This is real toilet paper, Can't wait to buy a few rolls

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I can't wait to rub shit all over Bush, and his henchmens face's.

This is a real Russian sobriety test

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Santa's New ride

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And I thought the just made razors

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I heard this will shave your junk, and protect you from the nasty crap swimming in your hoochy, all at the same time

Coke in Russia

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Why does the bear look so fucking creepy? Is he pissing on the coke?

CAPTAIN CONDOM!!!!!!

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So was your new Years as rough as mine!!!!

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Who's leg do you have to hump to get some aspirin around this dump??