Warning: This is without a doubt the most depraved, foul, insidious and malevolent of all possible evil professions. If you choose this job you will be hated by good and evil-doers alike, becoming the lowest of all possible lows, with vigilantes hunting you and entire religions springing up devoted to your destruction. And not without good reason.
You will need: "Special $200 CD with email addresses lifted from USENET! All completely legal! Really!"
Also required: Overall worthlessness, wretched stench, complete and utter lameness, heart of darkness, unending depravity, lack of a soul, I.Q. the equivalent of pond scum, and the charm of a three-day-dead rat left festering in the sun that even the maggots won't touch because it's so goddamn ugly and repulsive.
We won't actually go into the details of this job as it's far too disgusting, even for us. Nevertheless, as a spammer you will now honestly be able to say your downfall from humanity is complete, that your eternal damnation is assured and that none exist who can surpass you in vileness.
Now get away from me.
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