Disgraced army goat demoted

Lance corporal Billy, a ceremonial pet goat in the British army, was demoted for poor behavior in a parade in Cyprus marking Queen Elizabeth II's birthday.

Billy refused to march in line, and instead tried to "headbutt the waist and nether regions of the drummers," according to Captain William Rose, a soldier at the parade.

The entire nation of England stood shamed at the abominable conduct of the goat in front of foreign dignitaries. In the wake of the incident, Billy has been demoted from lance corporal to fusilier, a rank equivalent to private. Soldiers of lower rank are no longer expected to salute him.

The goat has been the mascot for the First Battalion, the Royal Welsh regiment, for five and a half years. However, the parade was his first tour overseas.

"He has certainly not made a good start for himself," said Captain Crispian Coates.

But all is not lost: "His situation is currently being reviewed and he could regain his rank," said Captain Coates.