In a shocking announcement, the British Ministry of Defence has revealed "UFOs Exist: It's Official!" The revelation comes in the wake of a request by UFO researchers for the Ministry of Defence to release information about its secret investigations into strange sightings over Britain.
In a case of ask and you shall receive, the MoD dumped 200 megabytes worth of documents onto its public website detailing its confidential research into Unidentified Aerial Phenomena, also known as UAP (that UFO acronym is so old-fashioned). The verdict: UFOs exist. But the MoD thinks they are a mixture of natural and-man-made phenomena, rather than evidence of extraterrestrial life.
But what about all those sightings of aliens hopping out of UFOs and doing strange things to people? The MoD explains it away as being electromagnetic plasma fields warping their brains, causing hallucinations and lost memory.
The convoluted explanation from the MoD hasn't convinced many UFO researchers though. And polls show that the general public think the truth is still out there.
-plasma fields warping our brains? Shit, and I was all concerned that it was the acid, meth, crack, wiskey shooters doing it. What a releaf!!!!